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Holiday Toasts & Poems

Raise Our Glass Christmas Toast

 

Let’s raise our glass in cheer
For  all our blessings this year.

Let’s  give thanks for
what mater's most
And remember those no longer with us.
 
Let’s celebrate all the joys
And pray for peace

With all that said

Let’s toast to good wine and beer

And drink it down before it gets warm!

 

 

 

 

 

by: Angie Peterson

Good Cheer Christmas Holiday Toast

Winter Holiday Party Tonight

 

Phones are ringing, are you listening?

Down the hall, (insert a name)  stomping

It’s a funny sight

But we’re happy tonight

Opening our Christmas Bonuses.

 

Gone away is my figure

Here to stay is my big _____(insert funny body part)

(insert a name) is singing a song

As the night goes along

Drinking at the Christmas

party today.

 

Later on, we’ll conspire

As we dream by the dessert table

Sneaking a taste

Not even in haste

Doubling our plate

Eating at the Christmas party today.

 

In the aisle way we can play poker

And pretend that we’re all millionaires

We’ll have lots of fun

Smoking on sticks

Talking about  ______(insert a funny topic)

Taking (insert boss' name) Money

Until he calls

Losing our Bonus at the

Christmas Party today.

 

At the end of the night

Full of merriment and delight

(insert boss' name) raises his glass

"Out with the old
In with the new
Cheers to the future
And All that we do.

Merry Christmas and

Happy New Year to you!"

 

by Angie Peterson

 

 

 

Boss Got Run Over By A Stripper

 

(Insert Boss' name)  got ran over by a stripper

Walking home from our Christmas party late tonight

You can say there’s not enough evidence

But as for me and (insert a name) , we believe

 

He’d been drinkin’ too much vodka

Out with  (insert a name),   (insert a name) and  (insert a name),

And we’d begged him not to go

But he left his cigars and stumbled out the do’

 

When they found him Christmas morn’

In the  (insert company name) front yard

There were stiletto pump prints on his forehead

And incriminatin’ lipstick marks on his____ (insert funny body part)

 

Distracted by jingling tassel bells

Blinded by body glitter

She backed right over him.

And cried “What the hell?”

 

What a sight it was to see

(insert boss'  name) flying through air

Just like Ol Saint Nick

Yelling ‘WHOA, WHOA WHOA”

 

In a frenzy and panic

She tried to give him CPR

But wasn’t sure which end to blow

His zipper was stuck

So she said “What the ___”

 

Now we’re all so proud of  (spouse's name)

She’s been takin’ this so well

Driving around town in her new Bentley

with (insert a name) singing Christmas Bells

 

Now our Christmas party has  never been the same

And we just can’t help but wonder

Why our bonuses are all one dollars bills?

 

We call it a Christmas miracle,

For when he came to

Not a bone was broken

Not even a scratch

 

He came to the light

His cheeks rosy and bright

Full of merriment and delight!

 

With a glittered smile he yelled

And spit out a bell

“Hoe, Hoe, Hoe,

Merry Christmas to all,

and to all a good night!”

 

 

by Angie Peterson

 

Twas (Insert Party Date)

 

Twas (Insert Party Date),  when all through (insert Company Name)
Everyone was drinking and full of good cheer.
(Insert caterer name) lined the tables with food  all aplenty

And lots of festive beverages to make us all witty.

As the gifts were placed gently by the door with care.

All in hopes for a BIG Christmas Bonus this YEAR!

 

When out from the board room came such a clatter,
I turned my head to see what was the matter.
When, to no surprise, it was (insert co-worker name).


More rapid than any cougar at (insert night club name)  on Saturday night,
She shouted, and stomped and caused quite a sight.

 

In the warehouse our attentions were quickly turned,
I knew in a moment it must be (insert co-worker name).
More rapid than reindeers his curse words they came,
As he  gruffed, shouted, and called them by name!

"Now (insert a name)! now, (insert a name)! now, (insert a name) and (insert a name)!
Oh, (insert a name)! Come On (insert a name)(insert a name) and (insert a name)!

I can’t say (insert a name) because I like you so,
Now get your paperwork  together before I explode.

 

Before the big show, I  dressed all in my Chanel,
As my eyes lit up with amazement and delight,

“You want WHAT? WHEN? and HOW MANY?”

I exclaimed.

Gritting my teeth, a twitch in my eye and a twist of my head,

(insert co-worker name) knew he would soon die.

 

Suddenly out  in the parking lot there came quite a loud crash,

No worries it was just (insert name) backing up turning  (insert a name) car into trash.

But do be careful of the yellow snow by the door

 as one of the warehouse guys  or reindeers let it fly.

 

As the party came to an end

One last shot (insert Boss' name) proclaimed as he held up the Gin.

“Pour more wine and drink the beer

Merry Christmas to all and  a Happy New Year!”

 

 

by Angie Peterson