Let’s raise our glass in cheer
For all our blessings this year.
Let’s give thanks for
what mater's most
And remember those no longer with us.
Let’s celebrate all the joys
And pray for peace
With all that said
Let’s toast to good wine and beer
And drink it down before it gets warm!
by: Angie Peterson
Phones are ringing, are you listening?
Down the hall, (insert a name) stomping
It’s a funny sight
But we’re happy tonight
Opening our Christmas Bonuses.
Gone away is my figure
Here to stay is my big _____(insert funny body part)
(insert a name) is singing a song
As the night goes along
Drinking at the Christmas
Later on, we’ll conspire
As we dream by the dessert table
Sneaking a taste
Not even in haste
Doubling our plate
Eating at the Christmas party today.
In the aisle way we can play poker
And pretend that we’re all millionaires
We’ll have lots of fun
Smoking on sticks
Talking about ______(insert a funny topic)
Taking (insert boss' name) Money
Until he calls
Losing our Bonus at the
Christmas Party today.
At the end of the night
Full of merriment and delight
(insert boss' name) raises his glass
"Out with the old
In with the new
Cheers to the future
And All that we do.
Merry Christmas and
Happy New Year to you!"
by Angie Peterson
(Insert Boss' name) got ran over by a stripper
Walking home from our Christmas party late tonight
You can say there’s not enough evidence
But as for me and (insert a name) , we believe
He’d been drinkin’ too much vodka
Out with (insert a name), (insert a name) and (insert a name),
And we’d begged him not to go
But he left his cigars and stumbled out the do’
When they found him Christmas morn’
In the (insert company name) front yard
There were stiletto pump prints on his forehead
And incriminatin’ lipstick marks on his____ (insert funny body part)
Distracted by jingling tassel bells
Blinded by body glitter
She backed right over him.
And cried “What the hell?”
What a sight it was to see
(insert boss' name) flying through air
Just like Ol Saint Nick
Yelling ‘WHOA, WHOA WHOA”
In a frenzy and panic
She tried to give him CPR
But wasn’t sure which end to blow
His zipper was stuck
So she said “What the ___”
Now we’re all so proud of (spouse's name)
She’s been takin’ this so well
Driving around town in her new Bentley
with (insert a name) singing Christmas Bells
Now our Christmas party has never been the same
And we just can’t help but wonder
Why our bonuses are all one dollars bills?
We call it a Christmas miracle,
For when he came to
Not a bone was broken
Not even a scratch
He came to the light
His cheeks rosy and bright
Full of merriment and delight!
With a glittered smile he yelled
And spit out a bell
“Hoe, Hoe, Hoe,
Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night!”
by Angie Peterson
Twas (Insert Party Date), when all through (insert Company Name)
Everyone was drinking and full of good cheer.
(Insert caterer name) lined the tables with food all aplenty
And lots of festive beverages to make us all witty.
As the gifts were placed gently by the door with care.
All in hopes for a BIG Christmas Bonus this YEAR!
When out from the board room came such a clatter,
I turned my head to see what was the matter.
When, to no surprise, it was (insert co-worker name).
More rapid than any cougar at (insert night club name) on Saturday night,
She shouted, and stomped and caused quite a sight.
In the warehouse our attentions were quickly turned,
I knew in a moment it must be (insert co-worker name).
More rapid than reindeers his curse words they came,
As he gruffed, shouted, and called them by name!
"Now (insert a name)! now, (insert a name)! now, (insert a name) and (insert a name)!
Oh, (insert a name)! Come On (insert a name)! (insert a name) and (insert a name)!
I can’t say (insert a name) because I like you so,
Now get your paperwork together before I explode.
Before the big show, I dressed all in my Chanel,
As my eyes lit up with amazement and delight,
“You want WHAT? WHEN? and HOW MANY?”
Gritting my teeth, a twitch in my eye and a twist of my head,
(insert co-worker name) knew he would soon die.
Suddenly out in the parking lot there came quite a loud crash,
No worries it was just (insert name) backing up turning (insert a name) car into trash.
But do be careful of the yellow snow by the door
as one of the warehouse guys or reindeers let it fly.
As the party came to an end
One last shot (insert Boss' name) proclaimed as he held up the Gin.
“Pour more wine and drink the beer
Merry Christmas to all and a Happy New Year!”
by Angie Peterson